watsonredbootcopy

Advertisers should die in a fire

I have a complicated relationship with our capitalist system. At a fundamental level I am a libertarian. There is simply no way for a government to control markets or economies. Capitalism and free enterprise are the only just ways to allocate capital. Not perfect, of course, and in need of some regulatory oversight. Part of that "not perfect" is advertising. In a system that allows individuals to make choices (this detergent or that one) producers will naturally do what they can to influence those choices. Great. Fine. I just don't care. The cynicism of advertisers is just too much to take. I love Hulu, but every time I click on a show and the advertisers asks me to select from three fucking "ad experiences" I come close to having a rage stroke. Ditto the text at the top of the video viewer during commercials that asks me if "this add is relevant to me". What genius decided that we had reached the point in our cultural and economic evolution where the consumers would now actually fucking help the cynical assholes at advertising agencies rope them in. If you click those boxes you are a traitor of the lowest possible substance and advertisers should die in a fire.

Remote from nature

Aspens in deep winter with the light fading. This transported me back to the time when I used to find myself outside on a regular basis. Fishing, skiing, even working. I know what this feels like, looks like, and smells like.

A girl named Henry?

Sometimes a cheesy pose works and sometimes it doesn't. File this in the "works" column

Ladies, this why you should resist the lure of the nose-ring

She's absolute perfection. The nose-ring is like the shreek of an ambulance siren in the middle of a Bach cantata. A neon sign in Yosemite. But you know, it's beyond metaphor and simile: it's a nose-ring on a beautiful woman. If I were trying to describe why a neon sign in Yosemite is wrong I'd say, "it's like a nose-ring on a beautiful woman."

That my girlfriend

What's up, dudes?

Dig that jacket

Adolescent Denzel for the win. I'd pay large sums of money for that houndstooth.

If anyone knows where this house is, let me know.

And then buy it for me.

Dear ESPN, I hate you.

It's hard to put into words just how much I don't care what John Kruk thinks about anything. Not just baseball. Anything at all. Let me be explicit, just in case it's not clear: I don't care what John Kruk thinks about anything.

I love baseball and I can't watch a TV show called "Baseball Tonight" because it is so aggressively shitty that it's unwatchable. Is anyone sitting around wondering what Fernando Tatis thinks of the Dodger's post-season chances? No. The answer to that question is no. He's too stupid and too bland for anything remotely interesting to come out of his mouth.

End rant. But please enjoy this lovely umbrella with my compliments.

☂

Día de los Muertos

If you want me to absolutely click the hell out of a link what you need to do is entice me with something like "Macabre Mexican Art". I will clicky-clicky that link up, down and all around. I will click that link like there's no tomorrow. Well done, Telegraph UK. God bless you, weird Mexican artists. What's more awesome than skeletons in sombreros? Absolutely nothing. Look at that horse! Sheer genius . . .

I'm trying to eat here, man.

I went to a conference today that dealt with autopsies (don't ask). As we were eating lunch, without warning, the guy put up a full color picture of a body, mid-autopsy. A giant picture of a body split open like a goddamn Christmas goose. That was bad enough. Then they moved on to the baby autopsy pictures. Good Lord. But he also showed a picture of a big hairy guy in lingerie that had accidentally hanged himself whilst masturbating. Which is the worst way to go. There's going out in a blaze of glory with your boots on, and there's going out wearing lingerie while doing the whacka-whacka. You suck at dying, brother.

Overall, it was a pretty odd way to spend two hours on a Friday afternoon.

Oh, that's a picture of my new pickup. I don't actually have any autopsy pictures in my personal collection.

Truer words were never spoken. . .

The most random picture ever? Yup.

Marilyn Monroe holding a photograph of a young Abraham Lincoln.

Um . . . ok.