The Most Awesome Picture Ever? Yup.

The tank top, the bra strap, the cigarette. And most importantly, the facial expression. My God, the look on her face.

And what is she doing in that parking lot? Just kicking it, having a smoke?

I can't decide . . .

Which one do you like best?


I love being a red-head but it's a little extreme, no? Perhaps a brunette?


Or, I guess a blonde. Sorry for the birdie. I was just having a bit of fun with my mate, Jimmie. No offense to you personally, gentle reader.


It surprises me how different I look in each of these pictures. I shouldn't tell you this but the differences are due to gypsy witchcraft, or gyps-craft.

Hey there.

Either she belches electricity or her tonsils have an idea.

Sugimoto

I love this photo without reservation. I want it in a giant print on my living room wall. I looked into it and a print costs about $10,000 - minimum. If I had a spare $10,000 this is the first thing I'd buy. Note to self: acquire an extra $10,000; also, a girlfriend.

UPDATE: Completely unbeknownst to me, a Sugimoto photo is on the cover of the new U2 album No Line on the Horizon. I had no damned idea. I saw the picture above on the ridiculously awesome website BigFun. (That website is for grown-ups only.) I'm kind of obssessed with this picture now. But now that U2 has gotten involved I'll never be able to afford one for my wall. You gotta give U2 credit, they have a great eye for photography. All the Anton Corbijn photos over the years have been top-notch. Now Sugimoto. Well done, boyos.

Please, no more pictures.

I just want to make art and be creative, can't I just be left alone. I never asked to be a celebrity.

Just playin'. I really just wanted an excuse to show off my new scarf. Awesome, right?

It's driving me crazy . . .

If you don't think this is funny then I hate you. If there's a bad pie-chart joke I haven't heard it.

Gisele, my love

Gisele is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. She's the Secretariat of people. Or maybe Secretariat was the Gisele of race horses. And if you're offended that I'm comparing Gisele to Secretariat then you don't know how much I love Secretariat. Or Gisele.

Work it, Girlfriend.

On why Phoenix in March is awesome.

This was Sunday afternoon:


That's the Dodgers versus the Padres in beautiful Glendale Arizona. If this picture was better you'd be able to see that the hitter is Manny Ramirez. It was 85 degrees with a cool breeze. The beer was extra cold and a pleasingly large number of beautiful latina Dodger fans did not burden themselves with any excess clothing. Heaven, in other words.

This was 6:00 a.m. Monday morning:



Talk about back to real life, man. I like the snow and all but enough already, God. We get it, you can bring snow in spring time. Noted!

Crazy cat lady

That cat has the confident look of a trained killer. I'm scared of that cat. And a little turned on. Did I say that out loud?

Go Aggies

Aggie cheerleaders representin'. . .

Oh, like you've never done this before.

You can pretend like bullets aren't the perfect size to serve as toe separators but you're not fooling anyone. I mean, duh. Am I right, ladies?

In related news, isn't my spider tatt bitchin' and/or awesome? You can be honest. Is it the coolest thing you've ever seen or just mind-blowingly tits?

Gimme your money or the dolly gets it.

I was only kidding around though. The dolly is fine. But in reality that 9mm woulda blown a hole right on through without even really stopping.

Check out my brand new kitty cat.

Her name is Trouble because that's what she is. Her mother was killed in a shirt factory fire and she's been on her own ever since. The picture makes her eyes look bluer than they really are. My eyes are actually that green though, clownishly green you might say.

The other picture is what happened to former kitty. I loved her too much and she showed me her tail-lights. Love is a cruel mistress, no?

Yeah, I know. I can't believe it either.

So I'm back from my self-imposed exile from the bleegin' and the bloggin'. My original goal had been to document my journey from girl to woman, but that became difficult seeing as I'm actually a dude with no aspiration for gender reassignment. No, in all seriousness, my goal was to let all you idiots accompany me on my path from law student to lawyer. But I got bored with that and also busy being, you know, a lawyer and all. I found a job after I passed the bar exam and have never looked back. My current salary is $7.6 million dollars per month which, you may be surprised to learn, allows me to just barely make ends meet.

This is me after I got my hair dyed black.

Bar Exam, Schmar Exam

Just in case anybody cares, I passed the July 2008 Utah Bar Exam. So it would seem that many years of fancy book learnin' are at an end. Good riddance, learning! Here's a picture of me right after I got the news. I'm so happy!



I broke blogging silence to dispel the notion that Bar Exam failure prompted my decision to kill the blog. Some really dorky, unliked kids at my law school still read the blog and I wanted to let them know that even the stupidest kid in school can pass the Bar Exam, just like I did. So, in a way, I'm an American hero.

Aloha Can Also Mean Goodbye

After having an epiphany on the seriousness of life -- and a sincere, Luddite wish to have zero online presence -- I killed the blog. Stuck a knife right in its heart. As a parting gift please enjoy this Youtube of a really cool girl playing the hell out of the drums.